Hey, remember when Ginny was all cut up over Colin, and Fred and George tried to cheer her up by covering themselves in boils or fur and jumping out at her from behind statues?
Those two.
Ok and then everyone thinks that Harry is the Heir and we enter the obligatory Everybody Hates Harry portion of the book. Le sigh.
Oh and hey,
Also, I would like to take umbrage (oh man, I was saving that pun for waaaaaay later) with the fact that no one posted this gif last week.
WE ALL DROPPED THAT BALL. Oh but my whole point with the Professor Sprout/mandrake thing was, 'The moment they start trying to move into each other's pots, we'll know they're fully mature.' HAHAHA, RIGHT?
Also, when Harry and Ron are talking about going into the Forbidden Forest (aka Detention Hall) and Harry is trying to buck them both up by being all, There are good things in there, too. The centaurs are all right, and the unicorns. And I am like, The unicorns are DEAD and the centaurs are HILARIOUSLY USELESS but nice try.
Ok but so they go into the Forest because the Harry's Life In Danger quota hadn't been met for this book yet, and spiders and Ron is like URGH and Ron is correct, and then one of the spiders starts speaking and I'm like, Thank goodness they speak human. Otherwise this book would get confusing mad quick.
Oh, and then when Harry and Ron are like, We were...uh...going to visit Hermione, and McGonnagall is like, But of course you must, and sheds a tear, and I am like OMG STOP CRYING IN THINGS MAGGIE SMITH YOU ARE GIVING ME THE SADS.
Her tears are like knives in my soul.
I have no graceful way to segue out of that. Um...'The sink, in fact, sank right out of sight' - NO ONE CAN RESIST A PUN. Hey, was I the only one going Woooooo when Harry grabs the lifeless Ginny and flips her over and is all, Don't be dead? Probably, since everyone seems to hate Ginny. Whatever, I was like...and then clutches her to him, etc etc etc. I'm starting to think that everything in these first two books is foreshadowing.
Harry seems to take a really long time to figure out that Tom Riddle is evil. Tom's all like, Gotcher wand! and The basilisk won't come until it is called DUN DUN DUN and I've waited a long time for this, Harry Potter (which is standard villain-speak. No hero EVER has admitted to waiting a long time for something [unless it's to get into a lady's pants, which is not what is happening here {probably}]) and Harry is like, There's something funny going on...
I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BUT I AM BUSY BEING PETRIFIED SO THAT MY SMARTS AREN'T IN THE WAY OF THE PLOT.
QUESTION THO: When Riddle's going on about similarities between himself and Harry, he's all, Both half-bloods, orphans, etc and I'm like, IS HARRY A HALF-BLOOD DOES THAT MEAN ONE MUGGLE PARENT WEREN'T THEY BOTH WIZARDS HELP I HAVE A CONFUSE.
Oh, and here's McGonagall taking 'great, steadying gasps, clutching at her chest.' Girlfriend needs some pearls.
I seriously have no idea what's going on here.
12 comments:
I just finished reviewing Chamber of Secrets too!
I didn't really hate Ginny all that much. What really got me about this book was that Ginny apparently "walks in on Percy doing something" and Percy's all 'NOPE NOTHING TO EXPLAIN HERE FOLKS" and I was like - did JK Rowling just reference what I thought she did in a YA novel?
But no, he was just making out with his secret girlfriend. Ah well.
Also, while I already dropped a lot of words about this in my review - why didn't they just rename Slytherin house after this whole incident? Yes, he founded your school - and HE HID A GIANT STUDENT-EATING SNAKE IN IT. Not exactly a role model one would want for a school.
Nice work with the Nostalgia Critic .gif at the bottom! His review of "Surf Ninjas" really was genius.
It is...unlikely that they couldn't get fully-grown mandrake from anywhere else. I mean, I'm sure that somewhere in Diagon Alley sells it. Stop being lazy and go to the store, Sprout! And as for unicorns, not only are most of them dead, but the rest could gore you if you get near them at all - not necessarily the best protection, I'm thinking. Oh, and you're right. Villains are far more patients than goodies. Harry could really learn something from old Voldy.
"I AM BUSY BEING PETRIFIED SO THAT MY SMARTS AREN'T IN THE WAY OF THE PLOT."
Excellent point.
Also, I posted that Dumblin' gif AGES AGO and someone else posted it either last week or the week before, thank you.
Lily was fully Muggle-born, so by the definition of racist evil folks....
Yeah, I think somebody did post the Dumblin' gif, but I think it's my favorite that I've seen so I'm sure I'll use it eventually. If for no other reason than it shows a smiley Snape.
re: Harry's being a half-blood. yeah, the wizarding world uses the same miscegeny laws as the racist muggle world, except maybe inverted. all four grandparents have to be witches or wizards in order to be a pure blood. so harry's children will be purebloods while he is still consider a half blood. just like the nice nazis considered their quarry Jewish if at least one grandparent was, and therefore eligible for killing; or the way the nice racists in the US South considered their quarry as black if at least one grandparent was, and therefore elibible for lynching. You know. Good times.
Also: love your Hermione caption. And Arthur Weasley's advice to his children re: brains and where things keep them is something I love.
Folks, I think the other person posting the Dumbling gif you are remember WAS Raych.....
Oh Fred and George, they're so sweet AND jerky at the same time. I love it.
Harry was wayyyyy too slow on getting the whole "Riddle is evil" thing. Silly heroes, always assuming the best in people until the evil is right in their faces.
Mr. Weasley is so sticking wise. Love him.
Why did it take so long to figure out that Tom's evil? I bet Voldie was thinking "This? This is the idiot that destroyed me? Wtf?"
Yeah, I didn't get why Harry was all like 'Seriously dude... I need my wand now' like that was something that was going to happen. WHY WOULD HE THINK HE WAS NICE JUST BECAUSE HE SPOKE TO HIM THROUGH A BOOK?
Why is that a question I even have to ask?
We're all going to post the Dumblin' gif next week, aren't we? (Yes we are.)
JKR REALLY gets into the killing later. Like, it ramps right up. So you might be right about the Drunk On Authorly Power thing. Although I think she always knew that some/at least one character was going to eat it.
Your mastery of the parenthesis continues to delight me.
Where did the baby mandrake come from of there are no full grown mandrake? Is this a chicken egg problem?
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