Thursday, January 17, 2013

Harry Potter readalong 1.2

The best thing about Harry-Potter-Posting-Friday is that then I can start reading the next installment. I am used to CANNONBALLING THINGS, you guys, and all this start-stop is probably good for my character.

The SECOND best thing about HPPF is reading the other run-downs. There were many a good gif last week, but easily (EASILY) the best was this one from As the Crowe Flies (and Reads!):

I just, I almost cried. And then walked around muttering 'Yer a lizard' to myself all day. You can do that when you stay at home with a small child, because that's also what they're doing, and neither of you is like, Cut that out and start making sense.

Also w/r/t last week, how did none of us mention that Neville's toad has a people name? That is comedic gold, straight to my heart. Trevor!

Ok so. Sometimes I am tearing along at a PACE and then I come across, like, the troll bogies left on Harry's wand after it goes up the troll's nose and I am like, Right, this book is written for 12-year-olds AND I AM NOT ONE OF THOSE.

Speaking of 12-year-olds! So, when they go to visit Hagrid to find out what else is guarding the philosopher's stone, and Hermione is all,  *warm, flattering voice* You know everything that goes on around here, you big smart man, and I am like what?

You are too young to be using those wiles, Miss Granger.

Ok and people have mentioned the trio not being BFFs at first and how weird that is, and I sort of blurred over into them already being friends and just kind of snarking at each other (like they do), but then Hermione's like, We should go to Dumbledore, and Harry's like, But we've got no proof, and I'm like, OH RIGHT, this is before they could just go to him with a Thing and he'd be like,

So that's weird.

Did I mention that this is only my second time reading the books? WHY IS MORE NOT MADE OF HOW HILARIOUS THE CENTAURS ARE? 'Always the innocent are the first victims. So it has been for ages past, so it is now.' And everyone is like

And the centaurs are like, 'Mars is bright tonight.' Poncy, cryptic assholes. They are a send-up of every centaur in literature ever and I love them.

Oh and hey, remember when Harry mysteriously gets the invisibility cloak and then immediately has to go a-spying, or Hagrid gives him a flute for Christmas and then later he needs to make music somehow to calm Fluffy? What I'm saying is, it's getting all RPG up in here.

Ok so here is my solitary beef with this book and, I guess, the entire driving force of the series (no big): Quirrell couldn't touch Harry and Voldemort couldn't kill baby-him because of his mother's love, right? Because 'to have been loved so deeply...will give us some protection forever.' Which, ok, nice work, JK, way to make every new wizard mother even MORE anxious, like, not only do I have to raise an upstanding citizen and keep it from dying of Wizard SIDS but I have to love it enough that, if its generation's Evilest Wizard comes to kill it, my loving love will SHIELD IT. That's some heavy burdens. So...that.

OTHER THINGS. Ok so Alice and I disagree on everything that is not Victorian literature Snape and his greatness/sex appeal, but he protected Harry so that he and James would be quits and he could 'go back to hating [James'] memory in peace.' That is a man I want to know. Full of the most scrupulous loathing.

Going back to last weeks discussion on Dumbles and his RISKY BUSINESS move leaving Harry with the Dursleys, when they're discussing whether D sent Harry the cloak hoping he'd go face up to V-mort (why are these names all so long) and Hermione is like, 'that's terrible - you could have been killed,' I'm like, Well that's pretty par for the Dumble-course. I sense that this is going to be a Thing for me.

To end on a less growly note, JK refers to Hagrid twice as being 'too big to be allowed' which, I guess it might be a saying, but LOL you are not permitted to exist, due to largeness! Oh and also, when Neville is awarded ten points and everyone bear-hugs him I am like

We may disagree on our Siriuses and Snapes, but Neville is the great unifier. Also, prrrrowrl.

HOLY ESS this recap was long. Moving on to WHICHEVER BOOK IS NEXT.

Me in about two seconds.


Reading Rambo said...


*pictures Malfoy on Neville's facebook profile, slowly drawing his fingers down the screen from sadness*

I DIDN'T POST A THING ABOUT THE CENTAURS. But I almost did. Because Ronan being all "Mars is bright tonight" and Hagrid being like "Yeah, I get that, thanks," was hilaaaarious.

Kayleigh Murphy said...

This whole post is absolute perfection and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

Centaurs! I was saving my centaur talk for book 5, but lols at the part Alice mentions ^ - they're so ridiculous I love them.

I wonder how many babies were killed by Voldemort? I mean, maybe ALL parents would basically turn their babies into Harry Potters except they aren't given the chance (LUCKY THEM)?

Agreed on Snape. Yes, yes, yes, ALWAYS yes.

Neville should be wizard king. Do you think they ever had a wizarding royal family?

Laura said...

Snape is BRILLIANT. I'm always going to side with him over, James, so yeah. (Also, do we think that JK sides with Snape over James, since it's Harry's MOTHER'S love that saved him, and James is sooort of not mentioned? I think yes.)

Should Hermione even have wiles aged 12? I think not! I'm pretty creeped out by this now...

And haaaaaaa Dumbledore constantly putting Harry in the FACE OF DANGER. Obviously I haven't really put this together before because DUMBLEDORE CAN DO NO WRONG but maaaaan he really does that a lot. But it's just because he BELIEVES in Harry so much! (Maybe).

Sandy Nawrot said...

OMG this is fun. So much fun. Like my favorite people (you and the Harry Potter family) all showing up at the same party. I love Snape. I know he is the antagonist but I have no jittery, acidy feelings in my stomach with him. Even at the beginning when I didn't know the Real Story. And I never...came to the realization of Dumbledore always causing issues, but HE DOES. That could change my attitude about the whole series.

Sarah said...

Hermione's wiles are less creepy if you think of it as her sucking up to yet another teacher, rather than being all "hey hey hey" about it. Cause she really was a teacher's pet.

I think the "Quirrel couldn't stand your love-infected skin" thing was a bit sloppy on Rowling's part, if only because why the hell doesn't that happen when any other malicious person touches him? Like Voldy and a certain traitor later on, they touch him without getting all burned. It's silly.

So I can kind of see how everyone thinks Dumbledore gave the cloak to Harry as a way to encourage him fighting Quirrel, but I don't think that was it. I think it was in case shit went down and Quirrel / Voldy started raising hell, the cloak would give Harry a way to hide. Am I alone there?

Kayleigh Murphy said...

Wait, can't V touch him because of the thing he does in book 4 to maneuver around that whole issue?

Writing to avoid major spoiler is HARD.

Red said...

It always bugged me that Harry's protected by his mother's love but APPARENTLY no one else's mom loved them enough to keep from being killed by Voldie. You think those mothers are all shamed later? People looking down at them "Well maybe if you loved your kids a bit more, he'd still be with us."

Reading Rambo said...


I don't think (but am obvs not positive) that Voldemort went after many babies/kids, so the moms probably didn't USUALLY have that option.

Jennifer said...

I agree about the lizard. Best. Gif. EVER. And about the mom love thing, though I didn't see it exactly that way (probably because I'm not a mom). But how has no other person ever sacrificed themselves for love of another person? How is Harry the only person in history that's ever happened to? I call shenanigans, and will continue to do so through Prisoner of Azkaban when we find out the details. BUT. Foreshadowing!

As the Crowe Flies and Reads said...

Awww, thanks for the GIF love shoutout!

You made me snort my coffee with your whole poncy asshole centaur thing. SO true and I pretty much just read though that section thinking, huh--berks.

As for the whole mom-love thing. It's explained later in the series. It's because Voldie didn't go there to kill Lily. He gave her a chance to step aside and he would let her live, but she refused in a last-ditch effort to protect Harry. Again it comes back to Rowling's obssession with our CHOICES, etc. Ugh.

Rayna said...

HOW could I have forgotten to mention the centaurs in my post?? I feel like a HP failure...

Neville is amazing and maybe the most universally loved character in the books. Or is that Hedwig? I thought everyone loved Dobby but apparently there are Dobby-haters among us.

I love that he wins the house cup for standing up to his friends, because that shit it HARD. I hate conflict myself so I am always super impressed by Neville in that moment.

Etudesque said...

I was torn between shaking my fist at Hermione's "feminine wiles" and Hagrid's very clear drinking problem in a book meant for 12 year olds, but whatevs. Let's pour all of our love into Snape instead.

Kayleigh said...

Hahaha, Wizard SIDS. I feel like finding that so funny makes me a bad person. Damn you and your humorous wordplay. But that is, that is a tough one. I agree with Rambo up there that I don't think Voldemort went after too many babies, though. Because, why?

*leaves work early to find a tumblr of Moulin Rouge gifs*

the scarecrow said...

Okay, just so you know, I laughed so hard when I read this post that I nearly wet myself. Jesus. How have I not stumbled onto your blog before? What is my life? This is depravity!

Wizard SIDS. *SNORT* I'm okay, I swear.

Also, this post made me think of this video;
You should watch it, or something. Accio popcorn.

Ellie said...

'Yer a lizard'... Okay, I have to use that in a blog post, like, YESTERDAY. It'll keep me chortling through the rest of today, DESPITE my shivering and general lack of feeling in all extremities.

Actually it reminds me a bit of that Loki cartoon "I am Loki, of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious porpoise." *snorts* :)

LBC said...

I was reading the book out loud to my dog the other day (yep, I'm pretty cool), and I noticed that when I read the Hagrid parts, I can't help at all putting on a very thick, very bad accent. I kind of accent Harry too, but not the others. Not sure why, or really even what it has to do with your post EXCEPT that I was reminded of the accent by the lizard gif.

Jessica Howard said...

I've gotta start using more GIFs. Love the Snape one!

Ellie said...

OMG, LBC - I do that too! Only I feel a bit embarrassed if the cat's in the room with me, for some reason. But I read sort-of aloud, and dread the day that I don't spot my sister or mum come in when I'm mid-(bad) Hagrid or precocious Hermione or right in the middle of a dramatic moment at the end of the book or something. OH THE SHAME.